Wives and wives

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I think I have a frequency in my voice that only some can hear. It seems to say, “Make plans all around me, finalize them, then let me know.” It happened at Thanksgiving. Now, related to Hawk’s job, here we go again.

So Hawk’s 2-man practice is looking for the third man (cue music). There’s a guy and his fiancee coming to interview. When? This weekend. Yes, the weekend before Christmas. When people don’t have anything planned. When people can just say to someone, “Hey, I need a babysitter on the Friday and Saturday before Christmas and since everyone is obviously 100% unencumbered, I thought you’d like something to do.”

So the hospital person, knowing we have Baby Z, has made a reservation at a restaurant that does not allow children. Yet I’m expected to go. And find a babysitter. For the Friday before Christmas. There’s also a rumor (although it’s not in the itinerary I received today — yes, today) that the fiancee “wants to meet the wives” on Friday. More on this later.

Then on the Saturday, we’re supposed to go out for another dinner with them. This would be at the restaurant Hawk & I had our post-wedding family supper at and everyone decided to order surf and/or turf. But that’s another story. So, needless to say, it’s a bit fancy. But not as fancy as it thinks it is.

So anyway, as I said, I get the agenda today. There’s a mini-sheet on the doc’s interests. (not much on the fiancee except to mention multiple times that she lives at home w/ her parents and that she does arts, crafts & scrapbooking). Under “special needs,” the hospital person has written “Starbucks!!” Um, okay. That’s a need. Now that Erie has three and a half Starbucks (the 1/2 is in the B&N, when last I knew), I suppose we’re a green light for this guy!

Now, I’m sure he didn’t say, “My special needs? Starbucks. I must have a Starbucks or I’m not coming! *twitch* And put a double exclamation point on that.” But this is the info we’ve been given.

So the doctor’s wives thing… I’ve known a lot of doctor’s wives. Some are “The Wives,” w/ perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect jewelry, manicures, pedicures and list interests as things like “shopping” and “volunteering.” Then there are the rest of us, with interests or jobs independent of the fact that the SO is a doc, who wear ratty sweatpants, who have broken fingernails, who wear bright red curlers in our bangs at Eat-N-Park, etc.

More often than not, in my experience, The Wives are wives of specialists and ortho guys. One of The Wives I’ve known was actually the anchor on the local news. She was pleasant and friendly but I certainly didn’t get to know her at all. Another of The Wives I’ve known was an Olympic ice skater. I’ve been in her house and yet when she almost ran me over at the dry cleaners, she had no clue she’d ever seen my face before in her life.

Some of The Wives I’ve known try extremely hard to fit into The Wife Role. Kind of a The Martha / Stepford mix. I admit, I have some Wifely characteristics. I enjoy shopping at Pottery Barn and having a grande chai once in a while. Although I’ve only met her once, I have a strong suspicion Hawk’s partner’s wife is a Wife. You remember… the clay toy shop musical thing? Anyway, I am most definitely not a Wife. So I wonder what will happen if there is a lunchtime thing with The Wives. I predict it will go “okay” and not much beyond that. Of course, I will have Baby Z with me so at least there’ll be someone to talk to.

I’ve gone to Wife Things before. Once, the hospital got us all together to make “holiday wreaths,” despite the fact that a few Wives were Jewish. Hey! They provided blue ribbon! So it went pretty well b/c other lowercase-w-wives I knew were there. The second event, the other lowercase-w-wives didn’t show. Just me. And the only people I really knew were the Bitchiest Bitch I Ever Met and a Wannabe Wife who happened to be Born Again on top of it all. So WW spent the whole meet-n-greet sucking up to Bitchy Bitch and both of them constantly turned their backs on me when I would try to say anything to them. It was blatant and horrible. So I went home before the event took place. I remember it also involved bringing a gift for a Secret Santa and I took my gift home as well. A good reason to give gifts you like, IMO. It was a lavender-filled sleep mask (which I still use on occasion).

So when I get home, Bitchy Bitch and WW have both left me very innocent messages on my machine about how they were sorry they’d ignored me. Hrm, as I hadn’t said a word to anyone and just left, I wonder how they reached that conclusion… ah yes, b/c they did it on purpose.

So I’m not big on The Wives in general and I admit to having some prejudice against Wives of this type. And before anyone asks, I’ve only known one female doc’s SO and he was just pretentious, not Wifely.

I may have more on this topic, as I believe it’s directly related to Girl Culture in this country.

Until then…

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