I just read (and deleted) an e-mail from a moron. She starts with “Dear Sir/Madam.” As we say on our sub guidelines “Dear Editors” is sufficient. Since I’m listed as “Editor” a lot of the more clueless submissions are addressed to me. It always cracked me up to get a “dear sir” when we had all-female editors.
So anyway, she wants to know if we would “review” two of her dopey stories. One was about 3500 and the other was about 4200. I could have written back and said, “We don’t review stories.” I could have said, “Our submission guidelines clearly state one story per person per sub period.” I could have said, “You’ll just have to submit like everyone else does.”
But you know what? I don’t want to read anything from anyone who doesn’t have the common sense to read the submission guidelines. So no. I didn’t reply at all. In fact, my out loud response was “Fuck that.”
*click*
1 Comment
May 31, 2005 at 6:01 pm
I just shook my head at that. Thing is, he (get your own email account, dude) already submitted the second story last year (and while you’re at it, keep track of your submissions). I remembered his name / the title.
I just looked, and last year he sent almost the identical query. I guess we wrote back and told him to just submit. So what does he do? Sends it as an attachment.
And now this.
Kind of leaves you with the impression that submitting is as tough as brain surgery, huh?
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