What can brown do for me?

Jump to Comments

Apparently brunette is “in” and blonde is “out.” No word on red yet b/c red is too damn hot to even debate.

Our local news channel actually did a story on “blonde versus brunette” last week. As a 6 p.m. broadcast story. I think it’s b/c the anchor needed her roots done. What she really needs is a bottle of mascara remover. I can’t believe anyone lets her on the air with those clumpy black lashes of hers. Gak.

I didn’t watch the story so I don’t know who won. Neither blonde nor brunette applies to me. Nor does hair coloring in general. So… meh.

You know, the story of that news anchor is interesting. Her background is that she was an elementary school teacher in the county and a locally-famous singer who made a living imitating Patsy Cline. They’re forever reviving her Patsy Cline show.

Then a few years ago the anchor who had actual news experience and charisma moved back to Arkansas (her husband was a resident at the same hospital — different program — as Hawk but I only met Angie once or twice — see long-ago post about “orthowives”). So who should we get to be an anchor? Someone we already have? A journalist? A newscaster? No! Let’s get the Pasty Cline imitating school teacher who freezes up on camera and stumbles over her words! Brilliant!

She’s much better now than she was but still. Ugh. She’s not bad; the only complaint I have is about her mascara. It just irks me.

Local news has had quite their share of interesting on-air personalities. My favorite was the woman who looked like she’d just been hit in the face with a Calphalon saute pan. I saw her working later at the Times and I thought, “Someone at channel 35 figured out she had a great face for print media.” It was just as true in real life as it looked on TV.

Anchors at channel 35 just disappear. Weather guru Schubie and anchorman Don both disappeared while we were in CO. I’ve never heard what happened to them but channel 35’s people disappear all the time. The woman who anchors their broadcasts now has some serious frizzies and flyaways. Half the fun of tuning in is to check out her hair. Poor woman; I know how that is. Then again, I’m not on TV.

Channel 24 fired their popular and charismatic female anchor when she got pregnant. She tries to deny it but everyone knew the truth. Then they kept hiring lookalikes in vain. They do to this day. The girl they have doing GMA is pretty good though. The weatherman has a lisp that drives me crazy. The evening weatherman has a bad habit of blaming the equipment when something messes up a little. They are the only meterologists in town though. Except…

Captain Humptee Hump on Channel 12 does a good forecast and Channel 12 didn’t give him the heave-ho when was gone for-ever with the National Guard. Why do I call him Captain Humptee Hump? B/c back when he wore his glasses, he looked exactly like Shock-G from Digital Underground.

Asa I’ve said before, the Channel 12 male anchor — Kevin — is my favorite local TV personality. I like his weird delivery and he seems cool in public (when I’ve seen him). Plus I think very often he’s on the verge of telling Mascara Patsy to shaddup. I hope, if he ever goes, he’s not replaced by Schreeching Scott, who recently claimed that he “broke” a story that was actually broken by a local blogger and was reported as such on the other stations. Gah.

7 Comments

Filed under Erie-sistable, I Hate People, Moi

Tags: erie, media, redhead