Pop me some popcorn

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You know I enjoy celebrity in some ways — trainwrecky kind of ways. I loved documenting the downward spiral of Tom Cruise as he became one of the Insufferable Pricks ^TM   he plays in every film. Eventually his nutjoberry became tiresome and then what did I have to enjoy?

And then I got this for a birthday present.

Some people are saying “Oh shut up Rosie/Donald.” No! Don’t shut up! You both have towering egos and balls of steel — go for it! Call her fat! Call him creepy! Call her a slob! Call him a pimp! Don’t stop, oh god don’t stop!

He is obsessed with you Rosie. He hates you for your size and for being a lesbian and for having a mouth like a sailor on shore leave. Get ‘im!

Donald, she wishes she had your power, your money, your glorious mane! Don’t let her get away with it!

If this fire starts to go out, I will personally poke it. This is the best, most entertaining celebrity feud in the history of ever! I can’t even take sides. They’re frothing over the screen time and attention and it’s marvelous.

I mean, poetry and video blog entries from Rosie?  Appearances on every news and/or entertainment show from “Access Hollywood” to “AC 360″ just to kvetch about Rosie? Come on! This is gold, people! Gold! How could anyone want this to end?

I’m categorizing this with “Tom Cruise Has Gone Nuts” just b/c I can. Hell, let’s drag him into it as well! And Paris Hilton and Lindsay “Firecrotch” Lohan and one of the Pussycat Dolls and … hrm … an Olsen twin and Tom Sizemore and Pee Wee Herman and ooh! Can we throw Roman Polanski in the mix as well? Let’s just throw any semi-trainwreck of a celebrity (talent optional) into the pot and see what kind of savory stew we can make.

Whither Matt & Trey on this? Come on guys — whip out the Streisand robot again and let’s party.

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