Barack “Gutterball” Obama

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Here’s a sample of our local news. Enjoy Rich and his impossibly white teeth (he’s a bit of all right, ya know?). Best part of this is the Tri-star Motors ad at the beginning. That is a western PA accent, folks. It’s not quite Pittsburgh; it’s slightly watered down. But it’s all there. Cool, innit?

So anyway…

I found that that link b/c Barack Obama was in the area yesterday. He spoke at a high school in J-town, then went up to Altoona. This means he drove past Bumblefuck. I know he waved at me even though I didn’t think one way or the other about him until last night. Anyway, what I found most entertaining about the local coverage (which wasn’t shown in the video above) was that Barack Obama had lunch at Texas Hot Dogs.

Now you might not find that interesting but let me tell you about THD. It’s a tiny diner-like place near the mall. Actually you have to pass the mall to get to it. I ate there once, with my boyfriend after we saw The Lost Boys at the mall theater. To know about THD, you have to know Altoona (not just how to get there but that it’s one of the Altoona places to get a bite and see some people, a la a diner — which we don’t have). It’s not like you see it from the road. And it’s not like it’s some grand establishment. It’s teeny-tiny but has a huge parking lot, which I guess is a plus when you’re pulling in a bunch of buses and vans. So Barack had a weiner at the THD. I found that impressive. He also kind of nudged in at a table with an elderly couple, Coke in one hand, hot dog in the other, as if to say, “Mind if I join you?” The woman seemed to be beside herself with joy. I bet she’s even a Republican. It is Blair County after all (we’re Cambria County; we’re Murtha country tyvm). But anyway, he gave her the smile and she was very, “Oh yes, sit with us, you handsome thing.” I’m starting to get the charisma factor now.

So as if that wasn’t enough to get into the hearts and minds of residents of the Greater Bumblefuck area, Barack Obama went bowling at the Pleasant Valley Recreation Center. He didn’t go to Holiday Bowl b/c it was league night (that’s an Altoona joke; it’s always league night and you can never get a lane there). He rented shoes & everything. He got gutterballs repeatedly. He sucks. Heh. Anyway, if you’ve ever seen Frankie & Johnny, Johnny says to Frankie something like, “Where did you learn to bowl like that?” Frankie says, “Altoona, PA. There’s nothing else to do.” Now there is but yeah — circa 1987 a trip to THD & a night bowling was THE Altoona experience. So whomever scheduled the senator’s appearances in Altoona yesterday sure knew what to do & where to go.

It matters little to me b/c I’m a registered independent and I can’t vote in the primary. But Hillary’s sent Bill to Johnstown and State College but hasn’t come herself. I think Hillary needs to go to Lakemont Park and a Curve game if she wants even to begin to make up the gap with a guy who had a THD/bowling day here. I mean, that’s pretty impressive. Even if his bowling isn’t.

BTW: We’re going bowling in Altoona next weekend. Maybe we’ll stop at Texas hot dogs too and we’ll recreate the whole Obama experience.

ETA: here’s the PPG article, complete with photos. I’m not entirely sure that exterior shot is Texas Hot Dogs… unless there’s another location?

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Tags: Bumblefuck, politics