Help a sister help a sister

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Senator Clinton, mind if I call you Hillary or “Hillsie?” I didn’t think you’d mind b/c we’re Close Personal Friends, you and I. I still have the only People magazine I ever purchased and you’re on the cover (circa 1992, around the time of The Cookie Remark. Remember that?) I applied to (and was accepted at) the University of Arkansas School of Law b/c you had taught there. Of course when I realized I would be turned into a lawyer at the end of three years, I thought I needed more time to decide if that’s really what I wanted (turns out, not so much).

When I was a kid, I was always very interested in politics. In fact, I was a poli sci major when I started college, Hillsie. Two poli sci courses cured that right up but I stayed interested. Anyway, when people would ask me if I wanted to be the first woman president, I would always say “No. I want a woman president before I run.”

And how much of a Democrat was I? I won a college scholarship from the Democratic Ladies of Pennsylvania. I lived in John Murtha’s district for chrissakes. I came from a proud blue collar tradition in the buckle of the rust belt (both through nurture and nature — it’s in my blood and my history) including miners, laborers and teachers.

So imagine my surprise and delight when you became a serious contender for president. A woman president! One with tits of solid brass at that, not one who was going to coddle and condescend. One who would look things in the eye and call them by the right name.

I’m not longer a Democrat, by the way. I’m an Independent. The Democrats lost me when they all (save Russ Feingold) voted in favor if the Patriot act and then supported the occupation of Iraq — you included. But I’m a Sagittarius; I’m easy-going. So I’m not voting for you or Senator Obama this month.

Oh, Hillsie, I hope I didn’t lose you just then. See, I’m here as your bud, your sister, so to speak. I want to help a sister out, you know what I mean? Let me tell you about what’s happening here in the area between Philly and Da Burg: you’re losing support. Let me rephrase: you’re hemorrhaging support. You see, I’m around blue collar Pennsylvanians all the time. White collar ones too — we Bumblefuckians tend to mingle.

Oh Bumblefuck? That’s where I live, It’s a little area between Altoona and Johnstown. Pennsylvania. You know. Johnstown? Floods, Jack Murtha, not far from the Flight 93 memorial? NBC news makes it look like a shithole? The other place? Altoona. Railroad town. Lots of empty buildings in the downtown but a nice little shopping center near the interstate. Our Target doesn’t have conveyor belts. Hrm? No, Johnstown doesn’t have a Target. Lots of Wal-Marts here though. We have one over in West Bumblefuck but the one in Altoona is closer. We just go down the mountain. Yes, down the mountain. We live up on the mountain. Yeah, literal hillbillies. But we like that.

Oh you know who else liked it? Senator Obama. Hrm? Oh he drove right past here between his stops in Johnstown and Altoona recently. Yes, he was in Johnstown. He had a town meeting and spoke to people. It was on the local news. People told him how they felt about the closed mines and steel mills. He talked about his economic plans and worked in a little about his energy policy as well, talking about how finding greener energy could bring economic revival to the area. Then he played basketball w/ some kids at the YMCA. Then he hopped the bus and drove over to Altoona, had a hot dog and went bowling.

Oh no, he’s a shitty bowler. Hrm? Oh quite the opposite, Hillsy. People here didn’t turn off to him b/c he’s a lousy bowler. People turned on to him. It is kind of crazy, isn’t it? No, he wasn’t saying “I am one of you.” He didn’t rent shoes. Oh no, he certainly didn’t say he was better than us either. I’ve never heard him say anything like that.

Hrm?

“People don’t vote on economic issues because they don’t expect anybody is going to help them,” Obama told a crowd at a Terre Haute, Ind., high school Friday evening. “So people end up voting on issues like guns and are they going to have the right to bear arms. They vote on issues like gay marriage. They take refuge in their faith and their community, and their family, and the things they can count on. But they don’t believe they can count on Washington.”

I don’t get it, Hillsie. Where is he speaking down to me? Where’s the untruth, a.k.a. lie? B/c this is exactly what people here are saying and doing. The truth might be unpleasant to hear sometimes but around here, the reaction to Obama’s statement is one of “Someone is listening!” not “How dare he!” No one felt condescended to until your camp and McCain’s camp started telling us we should be. But frankly, Hillsie, we’re not idiots. We don’t need to have things interpreted for us. In fact, we don’t think the senator is out of touch at all.

“No, I’m IN touch,” [Obama] said. “I know exactly what’s going on. People are fed up, they are angry, they’re frustrated and they’re bitter. And they want to see a change in Washington.”

I have to agree with him, Hillsie, as do a lot of Bumblefuckians. And if you would just come here and talk to people yourself instead of sending your husband to campaign for you in State College, you would know this. People want to talk to you, people want to support you but when you refuse to set foot in our little towns — or even our big towns — and then you criticize the one candidate who has been here and who is saying what people are talking about in the bars and the bowling alleys, we find it hard to give you support or even the benefit of the doubt any more.

As a friend, Hillary, let me give you some advice: stop saying and doing stupid shit. if you want to be righteously outraged at what Barack Obama is saying about the opinions of working-class people in Pennsylvania, you need to stop sending someone else to the college town that’s an hour or two away. You need to come here and talk to people yourself. Bowling is optional but encouraged.

Your pal,

Eden

PS: Source of the quotes = ABC News. More Americans get their news from ABC News than from any other source.

PPS: You said we’re “resilient, optimistic and hardworking?” That’s true. But that doesn’t mean we’re not also pissed off.

ETA: I got this via Facebook after responding to a post about the Obama quotes at the Official Hillary Facebook page:

Hi Stephanie

I saw your post and I am bit concerned that she hasn’t visited so I have emailed the campaign and they have responded with a promise that Hillary will be visiting your area of PA this week. I am really sorry to hear that you feel left out! I travelled for ages to see Hillary (i live in Chicago - land of Obamacans!) and it was beyond fantastic. I got to shake her hand, and hearing her speak was the most fascinating and uplifting experience of my life. So you should have that opportunity also.

Here is the website details: if you keep checking back, your event details will be posted. http://www.hillaryclinton.com/hq/pennsylvania/

Lauren

There are no events listed for our area except that Sean Astin will be at PSU-Altoona tomorrow. Since we are at this second watching him & Elijah Wood hide under elvish cloaks from kohl-eyed baddies, that interests me more. But again, Hillsie, stop sending other people already. Yeesh. You don’t have ten minutes? I’m so tempted to pack up the kids and go see Samwise.

And I understand Lauren’s enthusiasm but shaking Hillary’s hand would not be the pinnacle of my existence. And I really doubt that hearing her give a speech would be the most fascinating and uplifting experience of my life. God, I hope not. You know I don’t dislike her (see above) but, geezy creezy, it’s hard for me to take the campaign seriously when there’s so much hyperbole being thrown around.

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Tags: Bumblefuck, politics