Via Pseudotherapy, then via Secondhand Karl, I found Vulva.
What is Vulva, other than something that will do wonders for my Google hits?
It is the erotic, intimate scent of an irresistable woman — not a perfume but a beguiling vaginal scent for your own smelling pleasure. Breathe in and enjoy anytime, anywhere the odour of a beautiful woman.
Now on TV is that Taco Bell commercial where a woman is keeping bacon in her purse to attract men. I wonder what would happen if she put the bacon and a dab of VULVA together? Or just shove the pork product up her cooch. Would that attract men as well?
i assume that Vulva probably works quite well with 3121, a.k.a. Eau du Prince. As we all know, 3121 is “Xquisite, Mysterious and Xotic, a kaleidoscope of rich florals.” I figure, like Karrie once said, he has a flavr but I no longer think Prince probably smells good. I think Prince probably smells like mossy balls. I have no idea if Prince actually does smell like mossy balls but he might. Maybe with a dash of rotting grapes. Small, moldy, squashy grapes. Very small.
So anyway, back to Vulva.
I think Vulva might be a product to market to people who aren’t quite brassy enough to order used panties online. Or maybe you’ve just had a breakup and you need a fix. Or maybe she’s away or you’re away and you want to trigger a happy memory of that time in the truck stop restroom.
So I can sense a cottage industry of “pussy in a jar” popping up now. I think there could be a whole line of Creative Wanderings products based on this concept. Imagine washing and washing and saying “Wow, I still smell like pootang.” Kind of like pink grapefruit for some people. I think I’m going to bottle my pitsmell: Presque le pamplemousse.
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3 Comments
April 14, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I have no idea if Prince actually does smell like mossy balls but he might. Maybe with a dash of rotting grapes. Small, moldy, squashy grapes. Very small.
Hey, what did I ever do to you?
April 14, 2008 at 12:41 pm
You’re right. I apologize. I never meant to associate you with Prince.
It’s hard to get past his “grape wrapped in a doily” mid-80s image. It’s quite unlikely that he smells like moldy grapes and mossy balls. It’s more likely he smells like mossy balls and maybe rotting blueberries, as blueberries are smaller than grapes and don’t turn into anything new (like raisins) as they age. Actually, Prince is old enough now that he might smell like small, moldy, rock-hard raisins.
April 16, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Or at least *look* like them …
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