Crush groove

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When I heard that Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer, I thought that I should write something about him before he died instead of after. So I thought I could kind of turn it into a Sexography entry about celebrity crushes and raise some dough for RAINN in the meantime (did you know that, in April every dollar donated to RAINN is matched?) Details on doing that are at the end of the post.

My first celebrity crush was Han Solo.

Not Harrison Ford. I was five years old. Who knew that there was an actor behind that person on the TV or movie screen? I loved Han Solo. He didn’t care what anybody thought about him and he did his own thing. I liked that. I still do. So how do we get from Han Solo to Joaquin Phoenix? Like this:

Also in the late 1970s, I developed a thing for Jack Tripper.

He was goofy and funny and I liked his hair. Most of the base of my sexual knowledge came from either CBS soaps, “Dallas” or “Three’s Company.”

I also liked the Duke boys:

I had a poster of them (and the car) in my room when I was probably 8 or 9. All the girls liked Bo. Therefore I had to like Luke. Not that I particularly preferred Luke (or Bo for that matter) but that I had to take the less popular or obvious choice.

I also liked Mork from Ork:

I can say that it’s because I thought he was hilarious and silly. I think it was actually due to those suspenders. I had a “Mork” outfit that came with the rainbow suspenders but the buttons on them weren’t right. One said “Mork From Ork,” which I thought was dumb. Mork would never wear flair with his name and home planet written on it. I destroyed the pants when I had a bike wreck while wearing them. But they saved my knees.

Then we move on to the 1908s, when I still enjoyed Han Solo but I got to add Indiana Jones to my list:

How much did I love Indy? I endured the snake scene to see it. To this day, I can get through the scene with a chamber full of snakes (even little squiggly ones) b/c Indiana Jones will protect me.

Then I was a Duranie:

I liked Simon but he was the Bo Duke of Duran Duran. Everybody liked Simon. Everybody liked Roger and John. Nobody really liked Andy (this is his best pic). Nick had the same “I don’t care what anyone thinks” attitude that I’d liked in Han Solo so I became a Nick girl. But in my heart, I wanted to change my name to Duranie LeBon.

Then after my D2 phase, I didn’t have a celebrity lust until North & South was on ABC. It was at that time I fell for the unknown actor with a Texas-cum-South-Carolina-for-the-show accent.

And I was fresh and alone on my celebrity crush. Then Dirty Dancing came along

and suddenly everyone shared my crush. Sure, I could get posters of him for my room (which I took to college and removed after Ghost made him Uberpopular) but he wasn’t mine any more. Still, he was just mine for a long time and I never stopped my crushing, even when he stopped making anything I was viewing.

I crushed on Kiefer Sutherland during the Young Guns period.

I had his poster up next to Patrick Swayze’s.

I didn’t have a lot of crushes in the mid-90s. Ben Affleck a little, maybe a dash of George Clooney. Then I saw Gladiator and I was very “Can we get this Maximus guy off the screen and go back to the emperor?” Then I sat through Quills and I knew.

I knew the way you know about a good melon.

And that’s how you get from Han Solo to Johnny Cash in thirty years.

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With every Sexography entry comes the donation page for RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. Among its programs, RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN provides information, education, outreach and other services. If you donate, please C&P my URL into the “donation in honor of” section (in addition to anyone you want to honor, including yourself) so that the project-related donations may be tracked (if you use Paypal, you don’t get that option so please let me know so that I can pass the info along to the project). In April, for every dollar you donate, RAINN will receive a matching donation. Your money goes further.

Thanks

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