Jobu for President

Nation agrees not to talk about politics
“There’s no point getting the country all riled up talking about politics, especially right before a big election like this,” 43-year-old Pittsburgh resident Eric Daniels said. “With terrorism and the economy and all these other problems on our minds, nobody wants to talk about which candidate can best restore [...]

I think he gave this speech to the Bucs in ‘93

Jim Leyland To Tigers: ‘Do I Have To Get Naked And Yell Some Sense Into You?’
DETROIT—Following the Tigers’ 11-0 loss at home against the White Sox Sunday, frustrated manager Jim Leyland attempted to get through to his struggling ballclub by screaming in their faces, gesticulating wildly while pacing up and down the locker room floor, [...]

Smell the Glove

Next time I see an Allstate ad, I’m saying:
“Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.”
How did I not recognize him? I nearly peed my pants when I [...]